SurReal Estate Investor As a surreal estate investor I have many tools at my disposal. The most valuable of these is, of course, preconceived notions. Now, I’ve gotten a lot of these from watching TV, and paying attention to what the guys down at The Hangover Factory tell me. These guys really know real estate backwards and forwards. After all, they have cable TV at the bar, and those guys get to watch all the shows. Flip My Digs, The Property Shuffle, Lose My Shirt, all the good ones, and those infomercials really help explain it all. Anyway, I had no idea, for example, that I could make money by burying my self up to my eyeballs in debt. The concept seemed a little strange at first until it was explained to me that I wouldn’t be the one paying off the debt. I simply find someone with bad credit, sell them a house on a ‘Least Option’ and they will pay the mortgage for at 'least' awhile. I guess they have the ‘option’ of stiffing me like they did everybody else, but in the meantime I’ll be rolling in the dough. Anyway, it doesn’t take money to become a real estate investor, it takes other people screwing up. This almost guarantees my success, after all, I’m people too! Someone told me if I can find a partner who screws up as bad as I do we’ll both be millionaires in no time. I guess it’s a synergy thing. Maybe my first step is to max all my credit cards out so I have some cash to play with. This way I can do all the ‘no money down’ deals I can find and still have some cash left over. I like that part. Now I need to find a book on least optioning my credit cards so someone else pays that debt off as well. Anyway, if I can become as successful doing least options as I did rehabbing it won’t be long before I’ll be able to least option my rehabs. It’ll be like killing two birds with the same 2X4 (a little investor lingo). That way any money I lose rehabbing I will get back on the least option down payment. At least some of it, which is probably why the call it that. I’m glad I’ll have that option, at least for now. My real goal is to become a Hard Money Lender. That’s where the big money is. Maybe I should sign up for a few more credit cards and reach that goal a little sooner. Anyway, another preconceived notion that I really like is being able to quit my job and go full time. I’ll be able to do that a little easier than most since I quit my job a while back, so I’m already halfway there. Now it’s just a matter of going full time. And what does full time mean? Well, watching ALL those shows would be a good start, of course. Right now I only catch the ones that aren’t opposite my regular programs. You have to make some sacrifices if you want to get ahead. Anyway, I think going full time will make my life a lot easier. From now on when the Mrs yells at me for watching shows like ‘Those Fabulous Flippers’ and ‘Where Did The Money Go’ I’ll just tell her not to bother me while I’m working. After all, I don’t make her get up and clean my ashtray while she’s scrubbing the floor, I deserve the same courtesy. Besides, all that money we spend on cable will now be tax deductible. Likewise for that new LazyDog recliner I’ll need now that I’m a full timer. I should have done this years ago. Anyway, I know what a lot of you are thinking. You’re saying to yourself “but Cletus, won’t going full time stop you from doing it part time?” I don’t know how to answer that question, but I can tell you this, that’s exactly the kind of sharp thinking my partner will need if he is going to keep up with me. That's for sure. Cletus 
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