Lake Front Property I’m just like anyone else, I guess, I want to be able to see MY boat from MY windows. Call it a wish, a dream, or in my case pure fantasy. So this brings up a few challenges, not the least of which is, I don’t own a boat. But I don’t own a house on the water either, so I got that going for me. But a quick check on the MLS tells me there are two lakeside lodges I need to look at. One’s on Lake Gucchiguy, and the other’s on Lake Fludsalot, and I’m excited, so off I go. Anyway, I get to the boat shop and the guy there asks me what kind of boat I want. I say I want one that will look good from my house on the lake. He asks me “How big is the dock in front of your house?” Right about now I’m beginning to think maybe I should have looked at the properties first. So I tell him I forgot to measure it, and I’ll have to get back to him on that. I didn’t know this was going to be this hard. I could have used that bus fare for something else. Anyway, I haven’t picked out a good name for my boat yet, so there’s no sense rushing things. I need to look at the docks first, and see if the view is good from the house. I may need to make a list of priorities here if this gets any harder, I hate it when things don’t go smooth. Priority number one is to go see some properties and evaluate them so I know what it will take to make them ‘ship shape’. That’s just an expression, of course, I’ll probably leave them shaped like houses. Anyway, I make the trip over to look at the first property, and this guy at the gate asks me whom I'm going to see. I could see by his cap he was a man of authority, they don’t just let anybody press that button. I tell him I’m here to see the house for sale on the water. He asks me how big my boat is, and I say I don’t own a boat yet. So he tells me this place is only for boat owners, and I need to have a boat. Always trust your first instincts. Anyway, I didn’t like the picture of that house, and the ad said “Call for pricing”, so I know they are probably hiding something else as well. So I go off to look at the next house, and next time I’m going to fib about the boat part if someone asks me. I’ll just reply “Which one?” That should do the trick. And then I’ll ask them how big their dock is, and trick them into telling me so I don’t have to take measurements. I think I?m getting better at this. Anyway, I get to the next property and lo and behold, there’s no dock. I hadn’t counted on that, but I guess I could build one. It’s a REO, and I know that stands for Real Equity Overnight, so it has to be a deal. I like the house, it’s got all the right stuff broken on it, and I’ll have my tools down here while I build the new dock, so what could be better. From the looks of things, if the basement windows where a little larger I could probably just drive the boat into the basement. After all, the water in there looks deep enough. Just knock out a few more cinder blocks. What could go wrong? Anyway, I go inside the place and realize that all that rain we have had recently has been leaking through the roof. No problem, all the money I’ll save not having to build that new dock will probably pay for the new roof. And since a lot of the windows are missing their glass, the breeze in here should have this place dried out by the close of escrow. I always thought when the ad said ‘Needs TLC’ that meant ‘needs the listing clarified', so that ad must be a mistake. What this place needs is a whole lot of work. Anyway, I call the real estate agent to find out the details on the property, and he tells me there IS a dock at the property, I will just have to wait until the floodwaters subside in order to check it out. I asked him if he knew how big the dock was? He asked me how big my boat was? I said ‘Which one?’ He said the one I wanted tied to the dock. I said I forgot to measure it, and I’ll to have get back to him on that. By now I’m beginning to think I don’t like boats as much as I thought I did. Maybe lakefront property isn’t my niche after all. Cletus
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