Before I Get Off The Couch I was sitting around in my apartment, and it occurred to me, I need to act TODAY to buy another property before my BVDs leave the couch. Lucky for me it was Sunday afternoon and not only did I have the telephone next to me, I got a copy of the real estate section from the local ‘Steal Me’ throw-away. If it happens at all, it happens between those pages, and that’s just fine with me. I can spot a deal three pages before it’s printed. Anyway, it seems there is this guy that has a house he needs to sell, and he needs to sell it right spankin now. Yesterday was too late, so tomorrow will never do. So I need to wrap this up ASAP. (That means ‘after somthin’s almost past’, as we all know.) Well, I’m not letting this one pass me. Not as long as I can figure out a way to get him to sell it to me today. And I never take know for an answer! Anyway, it seems this guys has really buried himself, so I guess some suffering is due on my part if I’m going to capitalize on this opportunity, and I have no idea what that means. But I have some capital and I have ideas, so I’ll just suffer through it. I can’t imagine anything worse than not being able to put this deal together today. I mean after all, he NEEDS to sell. This is perfect timing because I’m still on the couch, and I Need to buy. Anyway, I reach for the phone and realize I haven’t planned out my buying strategy for his property yet. So I’ll have to do that first. Here’s where the big trouble started, I promised myself I would not get off the couch until I had bought a property, and now all my guru books are sitting in the other room. On top of that, I can’t remember whose book I bought most recently, and it’s common knowledge, as I understand it, that you should use a technique from the latest guru book you bought. Anyway, it gets even more messed up than that because I have guru books I have bought and not even read yet. So now I’m gonna have to make a choice on using a technique that I may own but not even know I own it. Boy, I sure wish for the old days when things were simpler. I used to keep my books near the couch before I was advised I needed to upgrade to a home office. So here’s a little tip from Ol’ Cletus, if it ain’t broke, don’t upgrade it. Remember, the word ‘change’ is just the word ‘hang’ with bumpers. So don’t get hung up on it. Anyway, near as I can recall the last technique I bought was creating a note and selling it. Now I’m no Pavarotti, but I know that the notes A through G have already been created. Not only that, they come in flats and sharps, whatever that means. But this guy’s not selling a flat, so I won’t need to worry about that stuff as long as he isn’t sharp. And I’m counting on that if I’m gonna pick this one up for a song. Anyway, since there is no note named ‘H’, my guess is somebody tried that one already and it wouldn’t fly. In fact the next one up is a ‘T’ note, so I’ll just skip all the ones in between and save myself the hassle. Obviously those have all been tried before so that will save me a lot of work. No sense reinventing the flat tire. Anyway, I’m still confused about one thing. If I’m gonna buy this property for a song, why is it up to me to create a note in the first place. Seems most songs I know have plenty of notes in them to begin with. Maybe I’m missing something here and I hope it’s not one more guru book. Not that I’ve read all the ones I have yet, but like I said, they’re all in the other room, so they won’t do me much good if my goal is to buy a property before I get off the couch. Anyway, as luck would have it I have Terry Vaughan’s phone number scribbled here by the phone. So as soon as his line isn’t busy I’ll just get him to tell me which chapter of ‘Paper Into Gold’ I need to read in order to pull this off. With any luck I?ll get him to read it to me. Or sing it. I’m still a little confused about this note business, and worse than that, it’s late and now I’m getting hungry, too. Maybe I can talk him into coming over with a three critter pizza. Sure hope I didn’t lock the front door… Cletus
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